Grandma Union

Grandma died listening to...

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Grandma’s back!

Hello dears,

I’ve missed you all so very much, having spent the last three weeks in a New Zealand prison, accused of smuggling cocaine.


How am I posting this?

Well, you’ll be pleased to hear that a unanimous jury at an Auckland High Court cleared Grandma on all counts!

The crime was actually committed by pilot Sam Ball (right), who stashed the Peruvian Red Bull in four garden gnomes, hiding them in what he thought was a safe old ladies case.
After enjoying four days of chat and all cavity searches, I stood with the lovely officers showing them pictures of my Winnebago, in which I reside.


They agreed that I would have no need for gnomes and that they couldn't possibly be my garden ornaments.

The marijuana I couldn’t explain (Luckily only a small amount was left from the previous night).


At the trial, Ball first claimed he'd been "duped by a Katsina drug gang", and that "his dog Sgt. Pepper was being held by a Nigerian drug lord called Peter".

Ball who defended himself at the trial, later said "I did not know what was in the suitcase and had never been on an aeroplane before", after being reminded that he was flying the plane, he confessed agreeing to act as mule for a "paltry" £450.


Justice John Priestly agreed that Ball was naive, but said, "he still knew he was dealing with drug traffickers".
Taking into account "his co-operation with customs and police, back problems, and lack of previous convictions", he was sentenced to 18 years.

It’s good to be back,
the free Grandma Union x


2 Comments:

Blogger Flipper01 said...

shut it pikey

11:26 am  
Blogger Grandma Union said...

and fuck off too

12:48 pm  

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