I'm engaged!

Hard luck guys,

Ernest has finally popped the question.
I'm so excited. We've already booked a venue and all I'm waiting for is his ring on my finger.

I know, I know, let's hope this one works out.
8th time lucky and all that...



Granny x
(Future Mrs Borgnine)

Dance Granny dance

Make your own here

Successful retox meeting

A plea for help

Dear Grandma,
My friend Anna invited me to go to the lake for the day with her family. Anna thought I was fun to be around, and really hoped I'd say yes.

I didn't. I turned her down. I like Anna a lot, but am self-conscious about taking off my T-shirt. I had nightmares about her family and others at the lake seeing what I saw when I look in the mirror - a scrawny excuse for a man. I haven't gone to the swimming pool in more than a year because I am so self-conscious about my appearance.

Please can you help,
Yours hopefully
HT.

I am glad you contacted me with this problem HT, I think I can help you.
A close friend of mine went through a similar spell of self-doubt. It turns out he was gay.

Next time you see Anna, invite HER on the date!
Get yourself down to KFC and order a family bucket - coleslaw, beans, spare no expense.
Then rent out a manly DVD like Top Gun or Conan the Barbarian.
Lube up, she's yours.

Granny x

Grandma's New Year's Resolutions

Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.

Leave the rest to God.