Grandma Union

Grandma died listening to...

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

A fabulous gift!

Thank you Leah Kluckow for sending me this lovely hand stitched brooch!
I'm wearing it now.

Grandma Union.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Did anyone watch Commando on Channel 5 last night?

"I thought you said you were gonna kill me last?!?"
"I lied."


I'm good friends with Arnold from when he lived in Stratford back in the 1970's. Thick as a plank, but he had great teeth.

This was taken last year when I was in California. He's just remembered that I paid for his first ever set of casting shots.

I didn't ask for any money, I knew he would be a big star and that was payment enough.
I would do things differently now I know he's famous. I should have slept with him for the story.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

The Duck & the Devil

My grandchildren stayed over this weekend. Johnny is simple like his father. He was playing out in the woods with his slingshot. He practiced in the woods, but he could never hit the target. Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was walking back he saw my pet duck. Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head, and killed it. He was shocked and grieved. In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the woodpile, only to see his sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.

After lunch the next day I said, "Sally, let's wash the dishes." But Sally said, "Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen." Then she whispered to him, "Remember the duck?" So Johnny did the dishes. After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's he finally couldn't stand it any longer.

He came to me and confessed that he had killed the duck. I knelt down, gave him a hug, and said, "Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing. I didn’t say anything because whatever is in your past, whatever you have done...
The devil will rise from his stinking pit and take your eyes.

Thought for the day... and every day thereafter:

Don’t kill my duck.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Apple, Quince, Ginger & Cranberry Pie.

With a few additions, apple pie takes on a springtime air. Look for quinces in specialty markets, and combine several different kinds of apples -- 'McIntosh', 'Cortland', 'Spencer', 'Russet', etc for the best flavour. Serve with vanilla ice cream and dust with cocaine.
My grandchildren can never resist an extra slice. Happy baking!

4 to 5 large tart cooking apples,
peeled and sliced
2 quinces, peeled and sliced
1/2 cup dried cranberries
3/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup diced candied ginger
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1 gram cocaine
top and bottom crust for a 9-inch pie

Preheat oven to 425° F. Combine the filling ingredients in a mixing bowl and toss to mix well. Spoon into an unbaked 9-inch pie shell and cover with top crust. I like to twist strips of the pastry and lay them like a lattice. Bake for 10 minutes, reduce heat to 325°, and bake for 40 minutes, or until the crust is golden. Serves 1.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

How to look after your hardworking creative.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Have the brief ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a great brief ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most creatives are hungry when they get in and the prospect of a good brief is part of the warm welcome needed.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the agency just before your creative arrives. Gather up books, toys, paper, etc and then run a dust cloth over the tables.

Prepare the producers. Take a few minutes to wash their hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the client, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the producers to be quiet. Be happy to see him.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Make the day his. Never complain if he comes in late or goes out for long lunches, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his very real need to relax.

Your goal? Try to make sure the agency is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your creative can renew himself in body and spirit.

Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the boardroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low soothing and pleasant voice.

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the creative idea and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

I hope this helps you in your day-to-day office relations, remember a good account person always knows her place.

That's all for now, I'm off to empty my bag.
Visit me again soon!

Grandma Union. Westside.

Hello dears,
Welcome to my blog. You've grown since the last time you visited!
I'll be keeping you up to date with all the gossip, sharing my recipes and boring the hell out of you with all my stories.

Grandma Union. Peace... out.