Grandma Union

Grandma died listening to...

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

I've found Jesus!

In my pancake.

Happy Shrove Tuesday everybody!
Keep tossing,

Grandma x

Sunday, February 19, 2006

The Big Chill 4th - 6th August

Hello dears,

Just a quick reminder to those who haven't bought their Big Chill festival tickets yet.

The Big Chill
They're going to sell out quicker this year as there's no Glastonbury.
If you're not thinking of going, here's what you're missing.
(picture) my two lovely niece's. Keep practicing Hannah and Brooke!

See you in the dance tent,


Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Valentine from Ernest Borgnine

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Suck on this

The mothers who ‘starred’
in the controversial programme Extraordinary Breastfeeding are no better than a Goat living in Somalia. And here’s the proof…

This is a picture of a "city goat" in the streets of Burco. The pouch into which this goat's tits are dipped is used to prevent the young one from suckling without permission.
This extraordinary garment is an ingenious way of ensuring equal distribution of milk between the goat’s young and the people.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Spanish festival fun

On the 28th January Valencia celebrated G.A.V day, like G.A.Y but with more hair.

Valencians of all ages took part in the festivities. This meant wearing a beard and riding roller coasters all weekend. I was violently sick. Luckily my beard deflected most of the chunks away from my snowboard outfit, and onto a bearded girl beside me. What fun!

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Stella gets the hump over camel pie at Grand Union

Hello again dears,
Whilst reading the weekend papers I stumbled across this shocking piece of Journalism…

A pub, which put camel, llama and zebra on the menu, has come under fire from Stella McCartney.

The celebrity criticised the Grand Union pub, for serving diners with pies filled with camel and chickpeas, or zebra and root vegetables in tomato sauce, both priced at £9.50.

A llama with figs and sultanas in tomato sauce is no longer available because the meat is now out of season.

Fashion designer McCartney said: "What's cool and gastronomic about eating camels and llama? In this day and age I am shocked that people still act in such a medieval way. They should be ashamed of themselves."

“Grand Union's menu is not a gastronomic experience. This is a cynical marketing ploy to make the headlines out of defenceless wild animals. In a civilised society, we should be encouraging people to conserve our wildlife not eat it into extinction."

I really can't see why Miss McCartney has a problem. On my travels I discovered North African cuisine and camel hump is a 'delicacy' in Libya.
I've hunted camel, tracking one for days until the bastard is close enough to garrotte.

I tried camel toe pie on the same trip, which was an experience too.

Grandma Union

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Cheese bake challenge

Hello Dears,
I had a lovely cooking request from a fellow galloping gourmet yesterday:

Hi Grandma I'm having a pasta cheese bake tonight.
Is there any relish you would recommend adding?
I like it plain but you never know Grandma may
have a surprise up her sleeve. Rob.

I haven't made a pasta bake and don't intend to,
but I CAN help you with dessert.
For a quick, cheap, and low-fat chocolate mousse,
buy one from Tesco.

I hope this helps Robert.

P.s. up my sleeve I have a tissue with dried blood on it.